Roger Federer gave me the bestest birthday present- his 5th consecutive US Open trophy (: (: (: I didn't wake up at 5am to catch him in action for nothing (: I know you can do it- more Grand Slams to come, and hopefully get the world no.1 ranking back :D Have I mentioned how much I adore/idolize/love him? HAHAHA.
Of course, much love to the dolphin gang too- thanks for coming down from ntu/nus/smu for me (:
So hard to..
-
EPL season 08/09 start soon pleaseeeeeeeee! I need the soccer action on weekendzzzzz. Federer Federer please get your act together soon those first serves especially! Boo now Nadal is on his way to dethroning Federer ):
University lives won't change friendships, will they? I feel like I don't know what's happening in all their lives already. SIGHS.
Now this is a random post.FUCK. I AM FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW.
There. Sorry for the vulgarities, but I'm seriously damn effing irritated.
Just when I thought the past 2 weeks or so have been improving, everything just came crashing down today.
First, it was __________. ( I must have been an idiot to believe what you said)
Then __________. ( I can't believe all the blame's on me, and I didn't even get a chance to clarify all the issues)
Great, just great.
" There is no mystery to happiness. Unhappy men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out by scorn - or worse, indifference - cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day without a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look back. He doesn't look ahead. He lives in the present."
- Jed Rubenfield, The Interpretation Of Murder
I just finished this book and damn it's sucha fascinating and intriguing read. Time to head down to the library and get my hands on more reads.
Let's go, Portugal and Holland! I hope one of 'em wins Euro 2008. But I don't want to see C.Ronaldo move to Real, not yet anyway. And haven't seen Gerrard in action for so long! ):
Friendships and relationships are so fragile. Remember that friend in primary school who used to sit beside you in class everyday? Or that friend whom you used to go to the canteen to buy Yakult with every recess? What about those people you got to know in the level camps back in secondary school? Still in contact? Nah, I don't think they even qualify as friends. Mere acquaintances maybe. Some may even have forgotten who you are completely. Everyone we knew back then was 'my friend'. But as we grow up, how many of these 'friends' do we actually still keep in touch with, still bother to catch up with and find out what they're doing in their lives right now? I hate to think that those good friends we used to have back when we were young and carefree have become strangers now. I certainly hope the friends around now will remain those that I can still fall back on, look to for advice and comfort, count on whenever needed a few years down the road. Or perhaps university lives will change people, I don't know. Just... thinking.
And so..
They have the most IMBA desserts EVER
.. HK was a timely getaway. Not the best, but definitely needed.But now, it's back to reality:
... zzz fucking idiot computer!!
Life's been a mess lately. Every day just passes by without me feeling I've done anything worth noting. I really don't know how and what to feel anymore.
Bad news:
> Super good friend's going overseas for quite awhile. I haven't seen her in a million years and suddenly she's flying off ))): Omg the song that reminds me of her just came on 98.7fm. Man I'll miss her ):
> Won't get to see brother who's gonna be away at camp for 5 days. I haven't properly talked to him in ages ):
> So many things to settle, so little time. Sorry to ppl/projects/assignments I've been neglecting- I know I haven't been the best team member, but I'm trying, really.
> Future's so unsettled, I'm screwed.
> I don't know how to answer him.
> I'm broke. C'mon it's the GSS after all. LOL.
> Weekends just feel empty without the usual soccer action on tv.
Good news:
...
There's no good news...
In short? I'm still screwed.
Yesterday at work, there was this little boy, probably only kindergarten/p1-2 age, he was thoroughly excited about getting this new ultraman bag his mum bought for him, happily skipping off with the bag on his shoulders right after it was paid for, with a smile so sincere I wish I could see it on everyone around me. I wish we could go back to those days when even a new bag could make us happy, so carefree and innocent where we had nothing to worry about. Unlike now.
ManUtd did a double over Chelsea in the BPL and Champions League, fucking awesome. Heart goes out to JohnTerry though, the captain whose final penalty kick should've sent his team into a state of ecstasy and won them the title instead of ManUtd. He was totally unconsolable after that.
David Cook's won American Idol instead of David Archuleta. Ima fan of both Davids, so no complains there, cos they're both equally worthy. DavidC's hot while DavidA's cute, but they both have insane vocals, so I don't really give a damn who wins cos I think both are good enough to produce albums already.
It's amazing how ppl in Myanmar and Sichuan are struggling to even get pass each day, and here in Singapore we're all safe and sound, going through the routines of complaining how hot the weather is, how some people can remain so skinny even though they eat alot, how there's always nothing to wear even though the wardrobe's already about on the verge of bursting so let's go shopping etcetc. I'm ashamed to be one of these typical Singaporeans.
I put on this facade everyday, everyone at work thinks I'm a happy, cheerful girl who likes to laugh and go 'yo yo' to everyone I see, when actually I'm not. It's hard to try and feel happy everyday when deep down yre actually struggling to come to terms with so many things and trying to understand the meaning of life-what am I living for? what am I gna do about my future? what and how am i actually contributing to society?- I still can't answer these qns I constantly ask myself.
Sometimes (okay maybe most of the time) I really like walking home alone from the interchange at night, or just taking long bus rides home alone, with my first generation Ipod plugged in and closing out the sounds of the people around me. I'm not a loner, no. At times I even like squeezing with crowds and soaking in the atmosphere. It's just that I like having time to myself to think about.. stuff. Stuff that I don't feel like speaking out about. I think I'm weird in that way. I like bottling up things to myself, so much that I don't really know how to pour it all out to even the closest friends. Not that I don't trust them or anything of course, it's just.. I rather keep them to myself. That's why most of the time I only talk about the happier things/events that happened/are going to happen, when deep down I'm actually feeling terribly down and out. I think it's a way to escape from reality, talk about the happier things to forget about those that are not. Like how keeping yourself busy, trying to squeeze as many activities as you possibly can into a mere 24hrs a day is a form of escapism.
So to friends out there like Z and C, it's not that don't wna see/talk to you guys, it's just that right now I'm not in the mood too. I hate it when I have to carry on conversations when actually I really have nothing else to say, but I have to just because I don't want to appear aloof or anything.
I just want to plop myself at Starbucks everyday reading my books (I'm trying to finish up The Time Traveller's Wife now) and not give a heck about anything else that's bugging me. Tampines Starbucks is still the best.
Sorry for the long, incoherent, rambly entry. It's hard to sound coherent when you haven't been blogging for more than a month. And when yre struggling to come to sound decisions at the crossroads of life.
